Getting to know your surrogate partner

Surrogate Carrier – Intended Parent Matching

Finding the ideal surrogate partner to help you build your family is one of the most important steps in the surrogacy process. ‘Best fit’ means something different for every parent, depending on their unique needs and concerns. To help guide you through the matching process, Be Parent coordinators will recommend successfully screened candidates with a similar mindset to yours in regard to the journey ahead. Our matching measures ensure a bespoke pairing of intended parent and surrogate from the very beginning, so everyone is on the same page as to their expectations.

Reliable care – extending from counselling services, to post birth nurturing – ensures that our surrogate team receives full Be Parent support to foster security in this special life-giving role. You can expect diligent record-keeping and sharing of milestone moments – big and small – throughout your fertility journey abroad with us.

Although, we’ve got it covered, we know you want to share the exciting phases of pregnancy and delivery too. We welcome you to be as involved as you would like during the surrogacy experience. The relationship between an intended parent and surrogate is very special and delicate; there are no rulebooks.

Mediated Communication

Meeting face-to-face is always ideal but, for intended parents from a distance, not always feasible. Since the pandemic, communication from a distance is now normalized, even with loved ones and those we hold dearest.

Both you and your surrogate partner can feel a bit timid at first but with time this will lessen. In light of this, our surrogate coordinator or a member of our team will be on-hand for all online communication and in-person visits. All communication and visits must be pre-arranged in order to be mutually convenient on both sides.

Preferring a more formal relationship with your surrogate partner is also equally supported; it is our role to help you feel as comfortable as possible and to assist you in your surrogacy experience according to what feels right to you, your family and the surrogate helping you.

Being transparent with your coordinator, from the onset, is critical in regards to the type of relationship you are hoping to establish. There is no single formula for this friendship, as its new for both sides. Your thoughts may also change with time, which is perfectly normal, and it’s our job to accommodate all ends of the spectrum but noting your preference before a match is made, so as to pair you with a like-minded surrogate partner.

Staying connected

As well as intended parents, our surrogate carriers are also all assigned personal coordinators of their own. This is vital in keeping communication free-flowing. These personal support members work in tandem together, using various communication strategies so you can stay as involved as you want to be.

Given the challenge of various time-zones, the availability and responsiveness of your entire coordination team is one of the most important aspects in smoothly maintaining a relationship with the surrogate helping you, so you can participate in journey updates in real time; missing as little as possible in the process. Prompt feedback, in regards to your questions and, of course, updates from the clinic side, are essential in keeping connection and helping you feel safe and present on the journey.

Your coordinator will be getting to know you (are you more reserved or more of an open type of person?) and will identify your pace and style of communicating (which platform comfort-wise feels most natural? How frequently do you like to be in touch and be contacted? How busy is your schedule?). These guidelines all help form the communication pattern ahead with the surrogate matched to you.

Connection Tools:

What’s App Groups
Personal video check-ins and Zoom calls
Synchronized pregnancy apps and calendars
Scan images, reports and Milestone screening videos
In-utero musical and voice recordings
Be Parent Pregnancy Scrapbook

How do we ensure your surrogate partner is abiding to the conditions of the contract?

Most intended parents feel anxious placing their trust in their surrogate partner to abide by contract conditions (such as no smoking or alcohol consumption). This is perfectly normal and natural, especially when participating in surrogacy from a distance.

Our surrogate team members are all mothers themselves and it is well understood that the complete fulfillment of contractual commitments is demanded for our obligations to, in turn, be duly fulfilled. Alcohol, drug and nicotine consumption clauses are signed and notarized before embryo transfer. Scheduled and unscheduled toxin screenings are consistently performed before and during pregnancy.